"Fire porn" and other nonsense...

Its your very first day on the job. You walk into the firehouse with a stupid grin while balancing a box of doughnuts in one hand and your PPE in the other. Some old dude with a giant gray mustache barks "What are you doing here, ya jack wagon?" Take a minute; for realz. What called you to the fire service? Maybe the excitement, the lights, the sirens, the danger, just the adrenal response? There's nothing wrong with that. I can distinctly remember my very first call in the back of an open cab Grumman responding during a thunderstorm some 15 years ago. The Federal Q winding up, the airhorn clearing an intersection, the parking brake being set, even the smell of the rain when I stepped off the truck soaking wet. I was as giddy as a 12 year old girl in the front row of a One Direction concert. Even now in some weird Pavlonian response I find myself seeking the source of a Q. Is that my truck? Are they going to a fire? Time of day, traffic, direction of travel, I try to reason the most likely scenario. Call me a weirdo. It's who I am. Odds are you're pretty weird too or you wouldn't be here.

What about today, years into your career? Why do we don our gear shift after shift, endure sleepless nights, expose ourselves to increased risks of cancer, cardiac arrest and a barrage of other physical and emotional disorders? We work second and third jobs to provide. We bathe in stress and despite our best intentions we bring a lot of it home. Why do it? There are jobs with less heartache, better pay and normal hours where we could live out our lives donning Jos A. Bank instead of Morning Pride. But deep down we know something would be missing. Dave Grossman, author of On Killing, puts it this way: "Here is how the sheep and the sheepdog think differently. The sheep pretend the wolf will never come, but the sheepdog lives for that day." It's just who we are. Even if we never hear thank you, even if the administration or city hall dwellers never notice, at the end of the day our heads rest well on our pillows because we know we did our best to make a difference.

Some people have been talking about "fire porn" as if it's actually a thing. Maybe you've seen it mentioned, read an article or two, and even feel a bit guilty because you yearn for that working fire. I say bullcrap. When the wolf knocks at the door the sheep dog tunes out every distraction. The sheep can balk but he won't notice. Even the shepherds words fall on ears that are deaf to everything but the growl of the wolf. This is the moment he was made for. Do you know that feeling? The tones drop, your pulse quickens, your nerves still. You listen intently for every detail from the dispatcher all the while working through it all in your mind. Time of day, traffic, best direction to travel, other responding units, additional needs... it never stops. Heavy smoke showing, unknown occupants, you see your job unfolding. Countless drills, hours of training, and every past fire play softly in the background. You were made for this moment, you live for this day.

Porn has no value. It is destructive and manipulative. To accuse good men and women of being addicted to "fire porn" and to somehow suggest that it is hurtful to the fire service is alien to me. What firefighter worth their salt ever reads of a multiple alarm fire, a LODD, or a challenging rescue without seeking out lessons they can carry with them? Make no mistake we aren't watching porn, we're watching game film. We do it to be better prepared for when we meet an enemy that is always evolving and rarely predictable. 

I'm a firefighter but I offer no apology for my love of fire. I don't wish for a single person to suffer loss of life, health or property but only an idiot could believe that it will never happen. I don't ask for it but when it does come I ask to be the one who stands the gap. Fire prevention saves lives and I believe in its value. However to believe the wolf can be forever kept at bay is not in my soul.

"The sheep pretend the wolf will never come, the sheepdog lives for that day."

The Sickness

I believe in the Fire Service.

I believe in the men and women who make up our clan. Especially those who relentlessly pursued their passion years before most of us ever donned a helmet. They built our brotherhood and the honor belongs to them.

I believe greatness is within us all. Sweat is the only key to it's release and there are no short cuts or trinkets that can make up for time and effort.

I believe we can really make a difference. That there is value in Fire & Rescue. That if we do our jobs well more people will go home to their families THIS YEAR than would have otherwise.

I believe in the small things. Treating everyone you come in contact with with sincere respect. Honing our craft one shift at a time. Find things better than you left them. You have the best job in the world, stop being a titty baby and act like it.

I believe we are responsible for ourselves. Blaming the chief, training department, company officer, senior firefighter, or anyone else but that warrior that stares you down in the mirror is a sign of pure cowardice.

Why do I call being a believer a sickness? Because it is contagious and to the infected there is no cure. It is as Jeremiah's "fire shut up in my bones". It forces them onward even though the ripples they make become waves that upset the balance of the establishment. It's easier to flop down stream with the other dead fish all the while complaining about how you've been treated and how you were never given the keys to success. Being a believer means restless, relentless, never-ending work.

We are either making things better or worse. There aren't any non-combatants. We are all ill but would anyone want to catch what we have? Start the revolution right where you are. Set things on fire! (Not literally ya smuck.) Wake up every day and decide it is going to be a good day. Today I will conquer. Today I will appreciate what I have. Today I will work just a little harder than yesterday. Today I will make at least one thing better. Today belongs to me. As VonAppen would say "don't take sick days, make sick days". Write it on your mirror. Pin it on your wall. If you are crazy you might even tattoo it on your body...

No matter what happens don't let the talkers take you off mission. The obsession they have with the doers is mind numbing. Like a moth to the flame they can't leave them alone. They watch ever so closely to criticize every move although they don't dare act themselves. They make no contribution yet act surprised when they are dismissed. They make it a point to notify anyone who will listen (or can't escape their onslaught) of the doers misstep. Perhaps they see in you the person they want to be. Perhaps they suffer from a scarcity complex in that somehow your success detracts from their potential. Whatever be the case, yesterday's shortcomings do not define you. Use the words of your critics as a whetstone against a blade. 

Theodore Roosevelt put it this way: 

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat."

Lest I be misunderstood let me state this clearly. Just because someone has lost their way doesn't mean they have no value. You can't divorce family. Love them despite their shortcomings. Set a trap to make them better. Buried within them is wisdom that you don't know despite what your ego might say. Engage them, seek out their past experience, find out what they've seen, other jobs they've had, anything that might add strength to yourself. Eat the fish despite the bones.

Lowering yourself to a childish exchange ends with wasted energy and no progress. Don't fight fair, treat them better than they deserve. Make peace when you can. Make distance when you can't. "Bad company corrupts good morals" (1 Cor. 15:33), if you lie down with the dogs you'll probably get fleas, and cancerous firefighters corrupt the motivated. By all possible avenues surround yourself with people you want to be like. Never allow someone to control who you are or who you are becoming. Lions lose no sleep over the opinion of the sheep.

This hangs on my bathroom mirror: "I was not delivered unto this world in defeat nor does failure course through my veins. I am not a sheep waiting to be prodded by my shepherd. I am a lion. I refuse to walk, to talk, to sleep with the sheep. I will hear not those who weep and complain for their disease is contagious. Let them join the sheep. The slaughterhouse of failure is not my destiny. I will persist until I succeed." - Og Mandingo

Never rest.

Never be satisfied.

Stay hungry.

Spread the infection.

The Fireman I Want To Be...

The fireman I want to be...

He gets to work at least a half hour early because he can't wait for his shift to start. He always offers to take a call for who he relieves in part so they can get home to their family but mostly because there isn't much on this earth he'd rather do.

He treats every customer with kindness without regard to how frequently they call or their social status. Without them he could not exist and he will always remember that.

Every shift he seeks a way to better himself, his crew, his station, and his truck. Everything outside of that is beyond his control. However, he realizes positive energy is a thousand times more contagious than negativity and he rejoices when like minded warriors step forward.

His crew is his family not his second family. He asks himself every shift "What can I do to make their day better?" He feels guilty when he is not at his best because they deserve nothing less.This sometimes makes him a little dull the night before his shift but outside of his God and his blood kin there isn't anything more important. A full third of their lives are together at work but it doesn't end there. They have a "shared suffering" that creates a bond that can't be explained to an outsider and they don't even bother to try.

He has trouble sleeping at night not because he feels like "the hammer is about to drop" but out of eager expectation and hope that an opportunity will present itself where he can make a difference for someone.

The absolute worse moment out of each 24hr shift, the one that he dreads no matter how many runs they have made, how little sleep they have gotten, is that minute it takes to take his gear from the rig to the rack.

"The funny thing about fireman is, night and day they are always firemen."

Owning it...

Today, for 24 consecutive hours, I own Station 5. You can say it's the city's, the community's, or whoever's but you'd be wrong. Today I have been entrusted with a crew, a truck, a station, and a territory and nobody can be held responsible but me. 

I didn't always think that way. I've made excuses for years: "they won't train us", "they won't give us", "they won't let us" but I'm done with "them". To hell with them. They've never came through and and probably never will. These men beside me though, those defiant Relentless Few, would kick the Grim Reaper in the balls on my behalf without a second thought. For these Few I will give, I will fight, I will bleed, and I will sacrifice whatever is necessary. Together we will crush "their" minimum standard. We won't ask permission to do what's right. "They" will get on board or get out of our way for they have forfeited the right to lead.

Nobody owns me but me. I won't dare say I have made myself of my own accord because I haven't. I didn't write Essentials. My name isn't Brunacini. But when my neighbor needs Superman and I offer him Spongebob the failure is all my own. The chief, the training officer, the other shift all didn't receive the call, we did. They weren't needed today, we were. They can't stretch our line. They can't throw our ladder. They can't assess our patient. Our ability or inability belongs to us and no other.

VonAppen put it well. "Excellence is my responsibility." The Relentless Few live that creed. Excellence is our responsibility and we WILL OWN IT!

The Selfish Firefighter Is The Relentless Firefighter

How is being selfish a required principle of a Relentless Firefighter or Individual? Author Michael Davis explains below.

You are asleep, the tones go off, engine 3, engine 1, rescue 1, engine 5, ladder 4, structure fire, 1776 Independence Street, unknown occupancy, hydrant located at Independence & State. You excitedly jump out of bed, you blaze to the engine and don your gear. You are first in, your driver gets you there fast, and your Officer gives report, smoke showing two story dwelling with a basement. Are you going to selfishly grab the nozzle and go, or are you going to be selfless and wait to offer the nozzle to you fellow firefighters?

You probably believe that being Selfless is the highest goal and virtue in life, especially as a Firefighter. I hear every day when the President, professors, preachers, & parents tell stories with selfless as the highest virtue to reach in your life. Have you ever asked yourself why? How is it possible to be selfless? You likely believe that being selfish is bad and selfish people never help anyone. In order to be able to help others, you must selfishly make yourself capable of helping others. The only person telling you to be selfless is the person who wants you to voluntarily sacrifice your self to them. Do you want to sacrifice your ideals, dreams, and goals in life? The answer is simple, you must act explicitly selfish in order to reach any personal goal you set to achieve in your life.

Dictionary.com defines selfless as “having little or no concern for oneself, and having little concern for one's own interests.” Without concern for your self, how is it possible to achieve your interests and values? It is NOT possible! You would have never applied for the job of Firefighter if you were truly selfless. You would not have made it through rookie school if you were selfless. It is impossible to be relentless if you are selfless. To be selfless is to care less about your ideals than everyone else’s ideals. To achieve selflessness at the station, you must live the interests of your crew, specifically, the crew member that chooses not to improve their self! To be selfless is to be without a self. How can you be your best self you if your goal is to be selfless?

Selfish is defined as “devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one's own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others.” Before you were able to help others individuals as a Firefighter, you had to apply for the position of Firefighter, which was a selfish act. You wanted to be a Firefighter, you wanted to fight fires, you wanted to spend your days with a crew, you wanted to make this your life’s work. You then had to spend your time getting in shape, which was a selfish act. Next you tested and interviewed for the career of your dreams, which had to be done selfishly. You probably remember exactly where you were when you received the phone call with the offer to be a firefighter and you selfishly and excitedly answered, YES!!!! For example, you did not act selflessly, by ensuring the other applicants received a job offer first and then if nobody accepts the job, you will take it.

To choose to act selfishly in your long term best interests, is to choose the clearest path to your goals. You should never compromise on the principles you use to achieve the values and goals you set to make you, the best you, you want to be. To cheat your workout, training, and dieting goals is to choose to act irrational and that choice is a contradiction to selfishly achieving your personal ideals. To choose to compromise your values is to choose to sacrifice the goals you set for yourself.

“When you are in love, it means that the person you love is of great personal, selfish importance to you and to your life. If you were selfless, it would have to mean that you derive no personal pleasure or happiness from the company and the existence of the person you love, and that you are motivated only by self-sacrificial pity for that person’s need of you. I don’t have to point out to you that no one would be flattered by, nor would accept, a concept of that kind. Love is not self-sacrifice, but the most profound assertion of your own needs and values. It is for your own happiness that you need the person you love, and that is the greatest compliment, the greatest tribute you can pay to that person.”

Playboy Interview: Ayn Rand
Playboy, March 1964

The Real Enemy

We are our own worse enemies.

"I'm just going to ride the recliner for 24 hours." "Do you have a bed at your job???" "Mostly we just watch movies."
If that's you, then you aren't welcome here. You aren't welcome on my crew. You aren't welcome in my fire service.

The public doesn't want to pay lazy, minimum standard firefighters and they no longer will. If you are a mutt don't act surprised when budgets get cut, staffing gets reduced, and city administrators belittle our service. There are plenty of people ready to throw us under the bus and they don't need your help. STOP IT!

Get out of the recliner and train. Don't dare turn the stupid television on until you know without a hesitation that yourself, your equipment, and your rig is 100% ready to respond. Keep your station clean enough for the mayor to pop in any and every shift. Look for opportunities to serve our customers.

Excuses from this point forward are invalid. "That isn't my job" doesn't cut it any more. "My crew..." blah blah blah. What about you? Excellence is your responsibility and it's time you own it! Leadership can come from any position.

And for the love of all that is good in this world STOP BITCHING about actually doing the job. Been up all night? Boo hoo. One truck in Atlanta averages almost 6,000 calls per year. Don't like going out on lift assists? Guess what butt-head that senior citizen has paid more taxes in their lifetime than any other customer and has allowed you to be in this career to start with. Now when they need a little extra help just smile and do it. If it were your grandmother lying there what would you want?

I can't play along any more when someone says "you guys actually did something?" "Yes we did and we are thankful for every opportunity we have to serve."

Praise your brothers in public. Handle problems in private. Get on board or get out of the way. It's us against the world. We often serve the ungrateful. We are asked to do more with less. We have to battle day in and day out with brainless, spineless bureaucrats just to do our job. Our allies have all but failed but hope is not lost.

The fire that burns within The Relentless Few is about to ignite the world. We cannot be stopped. We will not be deterred. Our vision is clear and our path is straight. We cannot help what happened in the past but as for today?

TODAY WE STAND.

Iron Sharpens Iron

I want to answer 15 calls a shift.

I want to see the sunrise after a 2nd alarm.

I want to spend my career at our busiest stations.

I will better myself mentally and physically for my calling every single day.
I will treat every citizen and fellow firefighter with respect whether or not they deserve it.
I will not be deterred, defeated, or dissuaded. 

Tell me I'm going to burn out. I'm sure thousands of great firemen before me heard the same thing. But if it makes you feel better somehow, go ahead and say it. I feed off your negative energy. It burns within me. I will do the right thing with the right attitude and hearing the words of the disgruntled is like throwing jet fuel onto a bonfire. Lions never lose sleep over the opinion of the sheep.

In that same vein you will never better yourself by pulling others down. Iron sharpens iron. 

Attitude is a decision. Choose every day to be hungry. Choose every day not to settle. Choose every day to do a little more. For better or worse attitude is contagious. Over time others will begin to act like you. If you are miserable it may very well be that you don't like being around yourself. Choose to be a thermostat instead of a thermometer. It's easier than you think. Be unmovable. Be consistent. Be true. Be a student of the craft.

The chorus of voices from the Relentless has drowned out the cry of those who have been unable to see beyond the boundary of their comfort zone. Rise up and own yourself; at the end of the day no one else is responsible for you but you.

Now let's go to work.

Signed,

The Relentless Few