Unite or Die

I'd bet it's the same everywhere. Force a bunch of alpha, type-A, passionate gorillas to live in a box together and things won't be easy. We disagree on a lot. We have strong opinions on the most minute details. If you've ever nearly come to blows over who owns a 99 cent bottle of mustard, you might be a firefighter.

When things pertain to the job it really gets interesting. Should the primary attack line be a 1-1/2", 1-3/4", or 2-1/2"? Should it be pre-connected or connected on scene to the length we need? Flat load or minute man or modified minute man or triple layer? We argue over the type of chainsaw blades, the paint scheme of apparatus, the brand of ladder, the configuration of EVERYTHING. Aesop's golden goose wouldn't have survived 10 minutes in most fire stations then we would have blasted the chief and city hall for providing defective fowl. When things don't go our way (I know you won't believe this) we might, possibly, on rare occasion, overreact. 

When we gather our toys and go to our room, everyone loses. The young guys need old dudes for wisdom and to learn from their experience. They have seen more fire, endured more hardship, and found out a bunch of crap that doesn't work. Old dudes need new guys for creativity and energy. Their isn't a better path to mastery than by teaching. The senior guy who has used his time wisely will always welcome a new recruit to mentor. When we work together, when we use our combined strengths and build on our weaknesses, the people who count on us for protection win.

I appreciate conflict that ends in resolve. "Iron sharpens iron." From the moment there were two men on this planet there was fighting. Despite some politically correct voices of our society, there isn't anything wrong with being a man. Men have carved out a living within the most unforgiving environments on earth. We've settled lands, conquered nature, explored remote wilderness, fought wars, and shed blood and sweat for what we believe in. 

We are made in the image of God and "the LORD is a warrior; the LORD is His name." What war are you fighting in the fire service? More importantly WHY are you fighting? The heart of my ethos is to continually improve in order to better save lives and protect property. If that's not your "why" I'd love to know what your about. Sometimes I can be an idiot though. I get way too caught up in the nuts and bolts of things that really don't matter. Dumb and petty things. I'm working hard to change that. I want the big picture to stay the big picture. I don't want some improper sense of ego to stunt my growth. I intend to be an old man in a young man's game and the best possible version of myself until my last shift. 

I won't be the guy that gives up. My wife lives here. My family lives here. People I love and care about count on the service that I'm part of. I believe in what we do and that we do make a difference. We aren't FDNY. I know that. I also know every time someone has called 911 here they expected Superman to show up. We have a mutual enemy and it's time we turned our attention from each other and on to the mission. People are counting on you. They deserve better. They deserve your best.

Go do something.

Go do something. Seriously. Doing anything is almost always better than doing nothing.

Everyone starts somewhere. I started in the smallest little town you've never heard of. It was 1999 and I was a college student working as an associate minister for my hometown church. I began asking around about becoming a volunteer firefighter and finally tracked down "meeting night". I remember it was bitterly cold outside but they had fired up an old propane wall heater and I was SWEATING. It was a typical small town fire department meeting. Upcoming events, new equipment, grants, etc. They showed me the station, the trucks, and talked about what I'd need to do to join. The next year I took another ministry job in a somewhat larger town. Again, I began asking around and pretty soon I was neck deep and had fully contracted the "sickness" that infects so many newcomers to the fire service.

A lot of life happened between 1999 and 2006 when I became a career firefighter. I found a home though. The way I feel about the men and women I work with is indescribable. I live where I work intentionally. My wife was good enough to move into the city with me because of how strongly I believed in it. I love my city, my department, and have never dreaded a single shift on the engine. Without a doubt we have our issues. Probably more than a lot of places. I choose to be positive. I choose to believe enough in what we do to work through any issues that may try to derail our mission. Make no mistake about it, when we overly focus on a fire chief, equipment, or city hall it's the citizens we've sworn to protect who suffer the most. We need all those things to maximize the service we provide but it's easy to trip on a molehill and miss the mountain. Big boy up, strap on your boots, and go to work.

Everyone is different and valuable in their own way. If nothing else, they serve as an example of who not to become. What does success look like though? A lot of it is ownership. People, circumstances, and assignments can help you succeed but ultimately nobody else is at fault if you fail. Own yourself. Take no excuses and make none. Bang ladders, study, PT in your PPE, devour every book, attend every class, look for the diamond in every pile of coal. I know you've attended department led training that could rival the excitement level of knitting mittens for a cat. Every day can't be the Super Bowl but every champion still has to know how to tie on their cleats. Have the best attitude, ask the best questions, and be thankful. Those that complain the loudest about training run away the fastest when the training department asks for help. Don't be that guy. Instead of being bitter try making things better.

I'm not saying everything is always fair. I've seen firefighters be set up to fail time and again. It's despicable. "That's how I was treated so that's the way I'm going to do things." Are you insane? When a firefighter fails innocent people pay the price. That's on you. Here is a novel idea. When the new guy gets assigned to your crew treat him like he will be responsible for rescuing your family next week. Because whether you like them or not, whether you think they are part of the "entitled generation", or even if you don't like their haircut or tattoos, pretty soon they will be in the position to make a difference in someones life. And guess what? When they succeed, you played a part in that too.

I wish I could bottle motivation. Give a swig to a mutt and he becomes a greyhound. I don't even know where to begin to tell you to find it for yourself but I beg you to dig for it. Seek it like a crazy person. Find people that are moving and stay so close you feel the draft. Do this for yourself: Next shift when you are driving in, take a minute to think about the individuals still in their homes as you go by. There are families, the elderly, every race, even the waitress at the restaurant you'll see later in the day. At any moment, whether they live or not might very well be up to you.

The temptation to be content with "good enough" always looms. A car tag or a title won't make you a "professional" any more than putting lab coat on a possum will make it a doctor. Professionalism is defined by performance and success sends citizens home at the end of the day. Find your restless spirit and never sit still.

Go do something.

The Calling

"The problem, often not discovered until late in life, is that when you look for things in life like love, meaning, motivation, it implies they are sitting behind a tree or under a rock. The most successful people in life recognize, that in life they create their own love, they manufacture their own meaning, they generate their own motivation."- Neil deGrasse Tyson.

Yesterday in a city about an hour from me, a 62 year old battalion chief with 40 years on the job donned his SCBA and endured a grueling PT session. I love the contrast to the RIP (retired in place) guys who drone on about being burned out. I wonder how the mind of the 2-20 guys perceive chief's actions as they sit in their recliners content with the minimum introductory training they received in the academy. If there is a greater teacher than failure I have not found him. I imagine chief has seen his share of fires that didn't go well, nights that some of his men almost didn't go home, and probably even thought a few times he might not be there to tuck his children in bed the next night. From discomfort he became fiercely vigilant while others went back to sleep.

It's shocking how we perceive things so differently. How is it that some see failure as a chance to embrace those things they didn't know and develop themselves while others just assume things will always work out despite evidence pointing to the contrary? Complacency continues to kill us but "it will never happen here". Yet it does a hundred times over every single year. Departments all over our country who have never had a LODD or serious injury find themselves at a funeral. On the front row, facing a flag draped coffin with honor guard members standing watch on each side, sits a young mother with her children. A chief dressed sharply in a Class A uniform might say something like fighting fire is "ultra-hazardous and unavoidably dangerous". It is, sometimes. Those children hear that "it was a freak accident that couldn't be prevented" even though the failures were glaring. Inadequate training. Lack of proper I.C. Incomplete 360 size up. Crew integrity is broken. No fitness program. Known deficiencies weren't addressed but to soothe and satiate we choose to embrace a lie. I don't have the ability to look into the eyes of fatherless children and say things that are only meant to make myself feel better. 

I wish I had a silver bullet cure for complacency. Sometimes I'm convinced it's just who people are. You either were meant for this job or you are here for the t-shirt and retirement. You either lead or you are dead weight. Other times I think that the fire department has failed itself for generations. Many places are fighting a culture that has set it's members up for failure rather than success. We closely guard information out of fear it might allow someone else to better themselves and surpass us. Instead of sharing knowledge and allowing the whole organization to grow we roadblock everyone and celebrate as we see people lay down their swords in defeat. 

We must do better on both counts. Recruiting the best applicants then providing them with a clear long term plan of success is the only way we win. Yes culture changes slowly but some change can't be waited on. I've lost close friends, been labeled a troublemaker, and been told the things I'm doing are "making people feel bad". My current feelings are: they weren't really my friends, I live for that sort of trouble, and the only thing that is making anyone feel bad is a look into their mirror. The stakes of this game are too high to be concerned with the opinions of sheep. Sometimes circumstances are truly beyond our control and everyone doesn't go home. God forbid that happens but I'll be damned if I sit idly by and not change the things within my reach.

A few years ago as a brand new company officer I was moved to our cities only ladder company. Our chief (now retired) had plans to begin operating as a truck company instead of a quint. For the time being though we also had an engine in house that we were supposed to take if the ladder wasn't needed. Confusing? You bet. SOP's? None. Directives? "You'll figure it out." I had lots of questions that went unanswered. I asked what success looked like for us in one month, 6 months, in one year? Are we responsible for RIT, vertical vent, forcible entry, search and rescue, or just fall into our normal arrival assignment like before? *Crickets*. I asked which truck we were supposed to take to get lunch? "You'll figure it out." Well, I didn't. I'm not being critical for the sake of bitching. I'm thankful my time there was short and I was able to move shifts onto an engine. I'm also thankful nobody needed rescuing by ladder when we were out getting a sandwich on the engine.

"Pride" has been hijacked and it's meaning soiled. I want a crew of proud men who take their job and themselves seriously. There is no shame in doing good work and feeling good about it. This isn't the little leagues where everyone gets a trophy for warming a spot on the bench. I have no qualms about saying this: I want to be the very best. The best husband, the best friend, the best firefighter, the best company officer. I want to develop myself along with others. I want to exceed my current potential then do it again. I want to be a force multiplier to everyone who is my ally and for us to take the message of The Relentless Few to the ends of the earth. This doesn't come without valuing truth and the pursuit of perfection above all else. I confess that I have often failed at all of the above but I will be dead before I let my story end with defeat.

Start here: Question everything you do. Why you are doing it that way? Is it really the best way to accomplish the task? Examine the ideas behind your best practices. Don't be afraid to discard anything that isn't efficient or effective. Eliminate excuses. "When we have some people retire, then we can make real changes." "We've just always done it that way." "You can't change things overnight." "Don't rock the boat." "You just don't understand how far we've already come." "We trained on that in recruit school. Why can't we learn something new?" "You are making the old guys feel bad." BULL CRAP!!!

Wyatt Earp screamed "NO!!!" as he left the safety of cover and waded into the river in Tombstone. Standing up for what's right is dangerous and sometimes it even paints a target on us. More and more I seek to surround myself by those not deterred by hard work, hard questions, and harder solutions. Give me a few men with those traits and we will deliver.

Stand up.

Speak out.

Be counted.

Answer your calling.

Be relentless and bring Hell with you.

The Difference

I might have been 6 years old when my dad let me tag along for a trip to town. I was the baby so I think I probably got that privilege more than my two siblings. Besides that, I was a daddy's boy. We made our way into Florence, AL. I have no idea for what only that I was excited pops had included me in the adventure. We took a side street and in front of Fire Station 1 were a few firemen watching another play with a radio controlled car. I went nuts! I begged dad to go back. What could be more exciting? Toys AND fire trucks in one stop? If you knew my dad you'd know how much of a long shot my request was. He didn't even balk though. He spun around and we wheeled onto the pad. The guys were giants in my mind. They expressed real interest in a chubby faced curly headed country kid. The firefighter with the toy took a knee, talked to me like I mattered, showed me the car and then the station. It was my earliest memory of a real fire truck. I have no idea who that guy was but I wish I could tell him how that day impacted me. I owe him more than I could ever repay but I'd like to start with a steak dinner. 

Let’s change gears. Your last shift approaches. 25+ years spending a full 1/3 of your life away from family and away from home. Soon you'll be home full time though (or more likely picking up another job to make ends meet). Let your mind see that day. You hang your bunker gear on the rack for the last time. The door closes behind you and things will never be the same. Drop by sometime after that and you'll be welcomed with a cup of coffee, laughs, and tales of old times. Walk back out that door and what will be said?

"I hated to see him retire" or "I hated him and couldn't wait for him to go."

"He was a hell of a firefighter" or "he can go to hell".

It's not about being liked but it is about making a difference. We don't work retail. A bad day at the office doesn't equate to an angry customer or a burnt waffle.  In our world not doing the job right today might mean someone isn't in this world tomorrow. Nothing is more infuriating and pathetic than someone who is just showing up. I don't care how much talent, ability, or even experience you have, if you aren't engaged and trying to deliver the best service possible, why are you here?

I already know this will ruffle feathers. Good. That means you are still capable of being convicted.

How can we settle for anything less than being the firefighter we would want coming for our family? I've often used this illustration when training. Fires in modern structures can double in size in as little as every 30 seconds. Let’s imagine that the call comes in just after shift change for a fire with confirmed entrapment. You are still in street clothes because that's just the culture at your firehouse. You run to grab a shirt, wasting a minute. The fire is spreading. You snatch your gear from the rack and get dressed. You haven't drilled PPE since recruit school so a 45 second task takes you 2 minutes. The smoke inside that structure is now pouring under the only door keeping the family alive. The street address really didn't ring a bell since territory study hasn't been a priority. Two wrong turns and two more wasted minutes later we are finally there. Conditions inside are now almost untenable. You dick around with retrieving a ladder as you see a civilian frantically waving from a smoke filled window. Clumsily you stumble through the yard looking like a first day recruit. Set the ladder, fumble with the halyard, finally ready. Mask up, climb up, forever too late.

Lay your head on the pillow after that and see how you rest. We can't make every rescue. We can't always be the hero. We will see unspeakable things in a career that makes peace impossible as it is. You will lose sleep. You will carry the weight of things you didn't create and couldn't solve. Add on top of that a career spent in incompetence and I don't know how anyone could handle it. We owe our citizens more. We owe them our best. Anything less is sickening and unacceptable. If you aren't willing to put in the work do something else. We will carry on without you just fine.

This isn't a side job. This isn't just a pension and benefits. You will be called upon during the worst imaginable times, face overwhelming odds, and suffer great loss. You will spend Christmas morning on an engine, a ladder, or a rescue while your family goes on without you. You will understand what 48 hours with barely a nap feels like. You will leave hot meals behind. You will suffer more than your share of bumps, bruises, and burns. Your spouse won't understand why you aren't yourself. Your civilian friends won't either. There will at least be one time during your career that you question if you made the right choice. However, if you prepare, if you train, if you seek wisdom from the senior man, opportunities will come that make it all worth it. Maybe a family will stop by with tear filled eyes to tell you how grateful they are to have another year with their loved one. Perhaps you'll see a baby brought into the world under less than ideal circumstances. CPR will finally work. It might be as simple as a child who decides to follow your footsteps because of a small act of kindness.

Do your job. Do it right. Never settle. Never surrender. Be relentless. Go out on your terms. It's not too late. You never need to ask permission to do the right thing.

The Complete Idiots Guide to Firefighter Fitness

Like it or not when you entered the fire service you lost your right to be out of shape. Nobody is going to stop you from munching down an entire bag of Cheetos while sitting in your sweatpants and watching Law and Order reruns but if that is normal for you, you suck. Firefighters are occupational athletes and our job is far too important to not be prepared. Watching YouTube videos and critiquing every online article from a beanbag chair accomplishes no actual good in this world and you still suck. 

Let me swim upstream just a little ways. I realize things get in the way. Life happens. Kids happen. Second jobs and second mortgages. Time seems to be shorter than ever and as much as you might want to be fit enough to make it to the CrossFit games that's just not a realistic goal for 99% of firefighters. So what is realistic? Use the time you do have. Don't lie to yourself, your crew, your family, and your city by saying "I don't have any time" because you do. Readiness has to become a priority. That may include time on shift when you labor alone in the engine bay with an ancient rusty barbell. It may include "Death by Burpees" at home in your garage when you really just want to catch up on The Walking Dead. Yes, you might even have to get up an hour earlier on a rainy Saturday to meet up with the other mental patients at the gym. If that's too hard then tough tallywhackers. Either start taking some baby steps to improve today or write a letter to your family telling them you knew how to prevent a heart attack on duty but were too lazy to do anything about it. Nobody else should have to explain that to them but you.

If you are a chief officer or decision maker and are reading this, WAKE UP! You create the culture your crews live in. It makes me mad enough to eat bees when I hear of some pencil pushing desk jockey going out of their way to keep good men and women from improving themselves. Fit responders deliver a better service to their jurisdiction and incur fewer injuries doing so. Those facts aren't debatable. You need to be creating a wellness plan. If that is too foreign of a concept then at least be a facilitator and get out of people's way.

All this seem a little harsh to you? Good. The "Participation Trophy" mentality is not welcome in the firehouse and titty babies can hit the bricks. You will not be missed by those brave few who fight on. I don't care about your feelings, I care about your life, my brothers who ride the truck with you, and the citizens you are sworn to protect. If you can't do your job you are useless to me. I'm not telling you that at 60 you have to have a sub 2:00 Firefighter Combat Challenge time. That's stupid. I am telling you that despite your achy shoulders and old football injuries you have a physical potential that you are obligated to maintain. It's a sliding scale that declines over time but if you still jump on the truck and other lives depend on you then you better learn to suck it up and do the right thing.

Now that I've pissed half of you off here are my 5 guidelines for Fire Service Fitness:

1.) More is NOT always better.

In 2009 the Surgeon General recommended getting 150 minutes of moderate to intense exercise per week. In 2011 it was modified adding at least two days of strength training per week. Salty Sam says "since the Surgeon General is a big puss and I'm a superhero firefighter I need to at least triple all that right?" Salty Sam is stupid.

Do I think the US government always knows best? Not even close. What's my point then? Somehow most people have come to believe that within their body lies an infinite well of physical potential and it can only be obtained by wrecking themselves repeatedly. If a 10 minute conditioning workout twice per week  is good then a 60 minute workout once a day will get me fit at least ten times faster right? No, just no. You aren't Rocky and fitness doesn't work that way.

Let's stay with the "well" analogy. Within your body is a well and its depth represents your level of fitness. The more fit we are the more we can draw from it when we need it but the well doesn't refill instantly. Continuing to demand more and more without time for recovery and replenishment will result in crumbling walls and muddy water (loss of energy, chronic fatigue, injuries). Wellness is a long term goal and it must be approached correctly which leads right into point number deuce.

2.) Don't be stupid.

Stupid seems so much more prevalent in men and I speak from a vast experience of stupid. We just do a lot of dumb things and somehow think the consequences will miss us. They won't. It always catches up.

"I don't need much sleep". Yes you do. Oh, and you're an idiot. Hundreds of thousands of hours of research has been performed and tens of thousands of pages have been written about the importance of sleep. If you don't approach that 8 hour per night goal you are set for failure before getting off the launchpad.

"It's been hurting for a few weeks but I figured I could just push through the pain". You can't. With a little experience you will know the difference between your muscles telling you they are sore and your body telling you it needs attention. Ignore the warning signs and you'll be down for the count and your idiot record will still be intact.

I believe there is a small part of our consciousness that tends to make good decisions. In just about every idiotic choice I've made I can recall that voice of reason. I have usually chosen to ignore it but it was clear and more times than not "I knew better" was the conclusion. In his book Unbeatable Mind, Mark Divine calls it our "witness". Stop being dumb, listen to your witness, slow down and use some common sense.

3.) Follow good programming.

This means following programming that is good for you at your current strength and conditioning level, not something fit for an elite Ironman. Unless you are an elite Ironman competitor then by all means carry on. "Scaling" is not a bad word (see #2 above). If you don't want to live in the hurt locker and long term success is your goal then learn to swallow your pride. I plan to contribute for another 20 years and that isn't going to happen without well thought out goals and a plan to achieve them.

While some factors on the fireground are indeed unknown and unknowable, there are many things we continue to encounter. Our gear will always be hot, heavy, and cumbersome. Axes have a predetermined weight. Victims will continue to be difficult to lift and move. SCBA bottles contain a finite amount of air. Limiting your training to long slow distance running isn't going to prepare you very well for forcing doors and rescuing fat Uncle Randy.

"The Law of Specificity of Training" is something you probably have never heard of and that doesn't matter. What does matter is specifically preparing for the known aspects of the job. Functional movements performed in realistic time domains transfer well to the fireground. A good trainer or coach will provide a well balanced, whole body approach to helping you improve your overall fitness. A great trainer will help you add in elements unique to the needs of a firefighter and make certain allowances from time to time.

To  "follow good programming"  includes not jumping ship in a month because you haven't transformed into Thor via divine intervention. You didn't get 50lbs overweight overnight and there is no 6 week program, even if accompanied by a miracle bowel cleanse and super powered Ovaltine energy boost, that is going to undo the damage that 10 years of crap eating and recliner riding has done.

4.) Do what you love.

When I first became a personal trainer, the manager at our gym was speechless when she heard me tell a client to avoid the treadmill. That client loathed the monotony of it and dreaded every trip to our facility so I sought out other ways to help them achieve their goal of losing weight.

If you would rather close your thumb in a car door than run, don't make yourself do it five times a week. At the very least dramatically trim down the distance  you include in your workouts. When you actually enjoy training it will be the start of an awakening. I almost never run a distance over 400 meters but my 5k time is within two minutes of a few years ago when I was logging around 25 miles per week.

I began toying with CrossFit in 2011. I'd heard a lot of buzz about it especially relating to combat readiness so I wanted to see what it was all about. It was 2012 before a "box" opened in my city but I've been a member ever since and consider many of our athletes family. I have not dreaded a workout since diving in at CrossFit Protocol. That's not to say I don't have a good deal of apprehension about some of the crap our head coach programs. (If you are reading this Scott I still think it's good programming but it does make me think you are a sadist and a sicko on occasion). It's different to face something tough with a team that cares about who you are and how you do. Isn't that what the fire service is supposed to be like?

There is nothing wrong with following Outlaw programming on your own if that makes you happy. Love riding your bike? Ride on. Love shooting hoops? Wear the leather out. If it is helping you become a better firefighter I salute you. For the love of all that is holy and in the name of Brunacini just find some stinking passion!

One other small piece of advice. Find a way to be accountable. Invite some of your crew over a few nights a week. Ask the wife to buy in with you. Heck, your annoying neighbor might even be the push you need. People tend to stay true for far more longer when someone else is expecting them to.

5.) Eat real food.

I'm not a nutritionist but you don't need a PhD to know that eating a gazillion calories worth of honey buns every day probably isn't the greatest of ideas. The most simple way I've heard it expressed is this: "eat meat and vegetables, nuts and seeds, some fruit, little startch, and no sugar." If it grows in the ground in the form you find it in or if it had a face when alive its probably somewhat nutritious.

I would encourage you to check out whole30.com or wholelifechallenge.com and nerd out. I am not a fan of short term diets but both of these websites are full of great information. My wife and I completed the strictest form of the Whole30 and it was life changing.

If you aren't ready to jump on board just yet, start by making one better decision at a time. Start drinking water, then start drinking more. Trim down your soda habit then cut it out. Stop eating sweets after supper for a few weeks, then stop after lunch.

CONCLUSION

You have been blessed with an opportunity at having the best career in the world. Thousands have gone before you creating a rich heritage that has made the fire service an object of pride, respect, and dedication. Millions now depend on the American firefighter during their most vulnerable moments and when you show up they expect nothing less than Superman. Don't be a moron and piss it all away because you love the taste of ice cream. Everybody loves ice cream. I just love being a firefighter more.

Whitewashed Tombs

You don't need permission to do the right thing. That seems simple enough but at times some people need it spelled out, a map drawn for them in detail, and have someone connecting the dots in crayon in order to accomplish even the simplest of tasks. Is it really that difficult? It doesn't have to be. I hope for you it isn't.

Cold and stale leadership models ripped from the pages of a fire service manual are about as ineffective as tits on a boar hog. In it's simplest measure effective leadership starts as a decision. One decides they are going to do what's right, not what's easy, and stubbornly refuse to be swayed from that path. But sometimes we mistake movement for leadership. 

A few years ago a young man, whose wife was training for a marathon, gave her a GPS watch for Christmas. She was ecstatic at first but soon after she was disappointed and asked if they could exchange or return it. When he asked why she answered that she had just ran 13 miles on the treadmill and the watch didn't show she had travelled a single step. Activity doesn't always equate progress.

Don't we do the same thing? If we schedule enough crap through the day we feel like we are getting somewhere. Instead of dealing with the big issues we just increase the incline and bump up the speed of the belt. We don't have time to train but will spend all shift on a pet project. Equipment goes unchecked, our stations neglected, and we are less prepared today than ever before. 

Some have described the difference as putting on a costume instead of a uniform. Jesus called them hypocrites. The literal meaning of hypocrite was a play actor that filled several roles in the same play who would simply change masks between roles.

“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs, which outwardly appear beautiful, but within are full of dead people's bones and all uncleanness. So you also outwardly appear righteous to others, but within you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness." Matthew 23:27,28.

Let's create another committee, schedule another meeting and argue for weeks over the color of paint chosen to put on 50 year old walls. God forbid if there should be anyone who dares step off the treadmill and make real progress. They must be stopped at all costs, undermined at every turn, and derailed at the earliest possibility. Forget it that we offered no solutions nor been willing to break a sweat. Monday morning quarterbacks cannot be dissuaded. If morale starts to creep up we'll split up that crew "in the best interest of the department". Things like that happen when decision makers have spent their career furthering their own interests instead of in pursuit of bettering the brotherhood.

It's time we stopped pretending, took off the mask, and owned our actions. Provide real leadership or grow comfortable knowing that you will be quickly forgotten. At the end of your last shift, as your career comes to an end, how will you be remembered?

Did you make a difference to those in the community or will you be remembered as an example of how not to act?

Were the crews you worked with blessed by you or did they dread the passing of 24 hours in your presence? 

Did you leave things better than they were when you started and treat people better than you were treated?

Did you become a mentor and help young firefighters become old firefighters? Or did you waste away your time complaining about things you really had no control over to start with?

Talk less, train more. Complain less, praise more. Lead, follow, or get out of the way.

One more step...

It's hard to breath. Sweat stings my eyes until they blur and a bald head does nothing to stem the steady flow. I chose to be here. I live for this moment. My body begs to slow, to rest, to just quit. My heart says no. The family that surrounds me shares in my suffering. Their lungs burn too. Their muscles struggle to obey the message traveling down from the brain. Pain endured begets more pain but there is nowhere else we'd rather be.

"ONE MINUTE!" Moments later my mind computes the voice belongs to that of our coach. Sixty seconds stretch on for what seems like forever. The man on my right, a round behind. On my left, he's a few reps ahead and 10 years younger. Who cares. He might win this one but he's going to have to earn it. I push until the distinct copper taste of blood permeates my mouth.

"THREE!" Another rep.

"TWO!" Just keep going.

"ONE!" Almost there.

"TIME!!!"

The music lowers from teeth rattling to conversational. All around the box people writhe in the "CrossFit recovery position" on the floor. I've been there but it doesn't feel right. However in that moment it feels like the only thing you could possibly do. Lay down. Give in. Win or lose the fight is over but I fight to stay upright. I force my breathing to slow and command my body to be steady. It protests. I walk clumsily but I refuse to crash. I chide some of our best athletes, probably ahead of me when the scores are logged, but for now I stand over them.  Phrases about Spartans walking off the battlefield part my lips. At least that's what I try to cough out between heaving breaths. I won't lie down. I won't willingly give my body even one moment where it wins over my mind. If it won't obey me now it will remember this moment later when the stakes aren't pride and bragging rights.

It's hard to breath. Sweat stings my eyes until they blur and a bald head does nothing to stem the steady flow. I chose to be here. I live for this moment. My body screams at me to just quit. My heart says no. Something has gone bump in the night and we are taking the fight directly to our adversary. My family shares in my suffering. Their lungs burn too. Their muscles struggle to obey the message traveling down from the brain. Pain endured begets more pain but there is nowhere else we'd rather be.

Then silence. Loud silence. White noise. A few seconds later my mind computes I'm on the job. On my right, a bright glow and searing heat. Did I fall into a basement? On my left, a motionless body, PASS now chirping about to alert. Pain begets more pain. I've read about this, heard stories told by valiant men with shaky voices who thought their time had come. I push but the distinct copper taste of blood permeates my mouth. Something whispers "just let go" but it doesn't feel right. Right now it feels like it's the only thing I can do. Lay down. Give in. The fight is over. Maybe the Devil wins this one. But one voice emerges from deep within my soul. Seemingly in opposition to a thousand more it chides me. "And you thought yourself a warrior? Your just going to lie there with your family waiting for you at home? What about the promise you made to the mother of the man by your side to always keep him safe?" Maybe the Devil does win this one but he's going to have to earn it...


When you became a firefighter you lost the right to be out of shape. If that stings, it should. You owe it to yourself, your family, and the family of the men and women by your side to be the best version of yourself. The stakes are too high and the penalty is too great for those who choose to ignore this law. I'm not telling you this to push you out of the fire service. I'm telling you this in hopes you start moving in the right direction. Go to battle with your body and listen closely to what it tells you. When pain marks injury, BE SMART and take care of yourself. When pain marks weakness, BE STRONG. Develop mental toughness when you can control your environment and there will be carry over to those times when your environment might not be as forgiving. Capt. Paddy Brown (FDNY deceased 9/11/01) said "you can do everything right on this job and still get killed." It's a fact that firefighting is ultra-hazardous and unavoidably dangerous. May it never be though that my lack of disciplines become my demise.

Nobody gets out of this world alive. Slowly but surely youth fades. Strength turns to weakness. Every man dies but not every man truly lives. However while the day is young, while the sun is bright, as long as I am possibly able, I will fight on.

And as the clock begins to expire on this gift of life God has bestowed upon me:

"THREE!" One more step.

"TWO!" Just keep going.

"ONE!" Almost there.

"TIME!" Welcome home.

"Fire porn" and other nonsense...

Its your very first day on the job. You walk into the firehouse with a stupid grin while balancing a box of doughnuts in one hand and your PPE in the other. Some old dude with a giant gray mustache barks "What are you doing here, ya jack wagon?" Take a minute; for realz. What called you to the fire service? Maybe the excitement, the lights, the sirens, the danger, just the adrenal response? There's nothing wrong with that. I can distinctly remember my very first call in the back of an open cab Grumman responding during a thunderstorm some 15 years ago. The Federal Q winding up, the airhorn clearing an intersection, the parking brake being set, even the smell of the rain when I stepped off the truck soaking wet. I was as giddy as a 12 year old girl in the front row of a One Direction concert. Even now in some weird Pavlonian response I find myself seeking the source of a Q. Is that my truck? Are they going to a fire? Time of day, traffic, direction of travel, I try to reason the most likely scenario. Call me a weirdo. It's who I am. Odds are you're pretty weird too or you wouldn't be here.

What about today, years into your career? Why do we don our gear shift after shift, endure sleepless nights, expose ourselves to increased risks of cancer, cardiac arrest and a barrage of other physical and emotional disorders? We work second and third jobs to provide. We bathe in stress and despite our best intentions we bring a lot of it home. Why do it? There are jobs with less heartache, better pay and normal hours where we could live out our lives donning Jos A. Bank instead of Morning Pride. But deep down we know something would be missing. Dave Grossman, author of On Killing, puts it this way: "Here is how the sheep and the sheepdog think differently. The sheep pretend the wolf will never come, but the sheepdog lives for that day." It's just who we are. Even if we never hear thank you, even if the administration or city hall dwellers never notice, at the end of the day our heads rest well on our pillows because we know we did our best to make a difference.

Some people have been talking about "fire porn" as if it's actually a thing. Maybe you've seen it mentioned, read an article or two, and even feel a bit guilty because you yearn for that working fire. I say bullcrap. When the wolf knocks at the door the sheep dog tunes out every distraction. The sheep can balk but he won't notice. Even the shepherds words fall on ears that are deaf to everything but the growl of the wolf. This is the moment he was made for. Do you know that feeling? The tones drop, your pulse quickens, your nerves still. You listen intently for every detail from the dispatcher all the while working through it all in your mind. Time of day, traffic, best direction to travel, other responding units, additional needs... it never stops. Heavy smoke showing, unknown occupants, you see your job unfolding. Countless drills, hours of training, and every past fire play softly in the background. You were made for this moment, you live for this day.

Porn has no value. It is destructive and manipulative. To accuse good men and women of being addicted to "fire porn" and to somehow suggest that it is hurtful to the fire service is alien to me. What firefighter worth their salt ever reads of a multiple alarm fire, a LODD, or a challenging rescue without seeking out lessons they can carry with them? Make no mistake we aren't watching porn, we're watching game film. We do it to be better prepared for when we meet an enemy that is always evolving and rarely predictable. 

I'm a firefighter but I offer no apology for my love of fire. I don't wish for a single person to suffer loss of life, health or property but only an idiot could believe that it will never happen. I don't ask for it but when it does come I ask to be the one who stands the gap. Fire prevention saves lives and I believe in its value. However to believe the wolf can be forever kept at bay is not in my soul.

"The sheep pretend the wolf will never come, the sheepdog lives for that day."

The Sickness

I believe in the Fire Service.

I believe in the men and women who make up our clan. Especially those who relentlessly pursued their passion years before most of us ever donned a helmet. They built our brotherhood and the honor belongs to them.

I believe greatness is within us all. Sweat is the only key to it's release and there are no short cuts or trinkets that can make up for time and effort.

I believe we can really make a difference. That there is value in Fire & Rescue. That if we do our jobs well more people will go home to their families THIS YEAR than would have otherwise.

I believe in the small things. Treating everyone you come in contact with with sincere respect. Honing our craft one shift at a time. Find things better than you left them. You have the best job in the world, stop being a titty baby and act like it.

I believe we are responsible for ourselves. Blaming the chief, training department, company officer, senior firefighter, or anyone else but that warrior that stares you down in the mirror is a sign of pure cowardice.

Why do I call being a believer a sickness? Because it is contagious and to the infected there is no cure. It is as Jeremiah's "fire shut up in my bones". It forces them onward even though the ripples they make become waves that upset the balance of the establishment. It's easier to flop down stream with the other dead fish all the while complaining about how you've been treated and how you were never given the keys to success. Being a believer means restless, relentless, never-ending work.

We are either making things better or worse. There aren't any non-combatants. We are all ill but would anyone want to catch what we have? Start the revolution right where you are. Set things on fire! (Not literally ya smuck.) Wake up every day and decide it is going to be a good day. Today I will conquer. Today I will appreciate what I have. Today I will work just a little harder than yesterday. Today I will make at least one thing better. Today belongs to me. As VonAppen would say "don't take sick days, make sick days". Write it on your mirror. Pin it on your wall. If you are crazy you might even tattoo it on your body...

No matter what happens don't let the talkers take you off mission. The obsession they have with the doers is mind numbing. Like a moth to the flame they can't leave them alone. They watch ever so closely to criticize every move although they don't dare act themselves. They make no contribution yet act surprised when they are dismissed. They make it a point to notify anyone who will listen (or can't escape their onslaught) of the doers misstep. Perhaps they see in you the person they want to be. Perhaps they suffer from a scarcity complex in that somehow your success detracts from their potential. Whatever be the case, yesterday's shortcomings do not define you. Use the words of your critics as a whetstone against a blade. 

Theodore Roosevelt put it this way: 

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat."

Lest I be misunderstood let me state this clearly. Just because someone has lost their way doesn't mean they have no value. You can't divorce family. Love them despite their shortcomings. Set a trap to make them better. Buried within them is wisdom that you don't know despite what your ego might say. Engage them, seek out their past experience, find out what they've seen, other jobs they've had, anything that might add strength to yourself. Eat the fish despite the bones.

Lowering yourself to a childish exchange ends with wasted energy and no progress. Don't fight fair, treat them better than they deserve. Make peace when you can. Make distance when you can't. "Bad company corrupts good morals" (1 Cor. 15:33), if you lie down with the dogs you'll probably get fleas, and cancerous firefighters corrupt the motivated. By all possible avenues surround yourself with people you want to be like. Never allow someone to control who you are or who you are becoming. Lions lose no sleep over the opinion of the sheep.

This hangs on my bathroom mirror: "I was not delivered unto this world in defeat nor does failure course through my veins. I am not a sheep waiting to be prodded by my shepherd. I am a lion. I refuse to walk, to talk, to sleep with the sheep. I will hear not those who weep and complain for their disease is contagious. Let them join the sheep. The slaughterhouse of failure is not my destiny. I will persist until I succeed." - Og Mandingo

Never rest.

Never be satisfied.

Stay hungry.

Spread the infection.

The Fireman I Want To Be...

The fireman I want to be...

He gets to work at least a half hour early because he can't wait for his shift to start. He always offers to take a call for who he relieves in part so they can get home to their family but mostly because there isn't much on this earth he'd rather do.

He treats every customer with kindness without regard to how frequently they call or their social status. Without them he could not exist and he will always remember that.

Every shift he seeks a way to better himself, his crew, his station, and his truck. Everything outside of that is beyond his control. However, he realizes positive energy is a thousand times more contagious than negativity and he rejoices when like minded warriors step forward.

His crew is his family not his second family. He asks himself every shift "What can I do to make their day better?" He feels guilty when he is not at his best because they deserve nothing less.This sometimes makes him a little dull the night before his shift but outside of his God and his blood kin there isn't anything more important. A full third of their lives are together at work but it doesn't end there. They have a "shared suffering" that creates a bond that can't be explained to an outsider and they don't even bother to try.

He has trouble sleeping at night not because he feels like "the hammer is about to drop" but out of eager expectation and hope that an opportunity will present itself where he can make a difference for someone.

The absolute worse moment out of each 24hr shift, the one that he dreads no matter how many runs they have made, how little sleep they have gotten, is that minute it takes to take his gear from the rig to the rack.

"The funny thing about fireman is, night and day they are always firemen."

Owning it...

Today, for 24 consecutive hours, I own Station 5. You can say it's the city's, the community's, or whoever's but you'd be wrong. Today I have been entrusted with a crew, a truck, a station, and a territory and nobody can be held responsible but me. 

I didn't always think that way. I've made excuses for years: "they won't train us", "they won't give us", "they won't let us" but I'm done with "them". To hell with them. They've never came through and and probably never will. These men beside me though, those defiant Relentless Few, would kick the Grim Reaper in the balls on my behalf without a second thought. For these Few I will give, I will fight, I will bleed, and I will sacrifice whatever is necessary. Together we will crush "their" minimum standard. We won't ask permission to do what's right. "They" will get on board or get out of our way for they have forfeited the right to lead.

Nobody owns me but me. I won't dare say I have made myself of my own accord because I haven't. I didn't write Essentials. My name isn't Brunacini. But when my neighbor needs Superman and I offer him Spongebob the failure is all my own. The chief, the training officer, the other shift all didn't receive the call, we did. They weren't needed today, we were. They can't stretch our line. They can't throw our ladder. They can't assess our patient. Our ability or inability belongs to us and no other.

VonAppen put it well. "Excellence is my responsibility." The Relentless Few live that creed. Excellence is our responsibility and we WILL OWN IT!

The Selfish Firefighter Is The Relentless Firefighter

How is being selfish a required principle of a Relentless Firefighter or Individual? Author Michael Davis explains below.

You are asleep, the tones go off, engine 3, engine 1, rescue 1, engine 5, ladder 4, structure fire, 1776 Independence Street, unknown occupancy, hydrant located at Independence & State. You excitedly jump out of bed, you blaze to the engine and don your gear. You are first in, your driver gets you there fast, and your Officer gives report, smoke showing two story dwelling with a basement. Are you going to selfishly grab the nozzle and go, or are you going to be selfless and wait to offer the nozzle to you fellow firefighters?

You probably believe that being Selfless is the highest goal and virtue in life, especially as a Firefighter. I hear every day when the President, professors, preachers, & parents tell stories with selfless as the highest virtue to reach in your life. Have you ever asked yourself why? How is it possible to be selfless? You likely believe that being selfish is bad and selfish people never help anyone. In order to be able to help others, you must selfishly make yourself capable of helping others. The only person telling you to be selfless is the person who wants you to voluntarily sacrifice your self to them. Do you want to sacrifice your ideals, dreams, and goals in life? The answer is simple, you must act explicitly selfish in order to reach any personal goal you set to achieve in your life.

Dictionary.com defines selfless as “having little or no concern for oneself, and having little concern for one's own interests.” Without concern for your self, how is it possible to achieve your interests and values? It is NOT possible! You would have never applied for the job of Firefighter if you were truly selfless. You would not have made it through rookie school if you were selfless. It is impossible to be relentless if you are selfless. To be selfless is to care less about your ideals than everyone else’s ideals. To achieve selflessness at the station, you must live the interests of your crew, specifically, the crew member that chooses not to improve their self! To be selfless is to be without a self. How can you be your best self you if your goal is to be selfless?

Selfish is defined as “devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one's own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others.” Before you were able to help others individuals as a Firefighter, you had to apply for the position of Firefighter, which was a selfish act. You wanted to be a Firefighter, you wanted to fight fires, you wanted to spend your days with a crew, you wanted to make this your life’s work. You then had to spend your time getting in shape, which was a selfish act. Next you tested and interviewed for the career of your dreams, which had to be done selfishly. You probably remember exactly where you were when you received the phone call with the offer to be a firefighter and you selfishly and excitedly answered, YES!!!! For example, you did not act selflessly, by ensuring the other applicants received a job offer first and then if nobody accepts the job, you will take it.

To choose to act selfishly in your long term best interests, is to choose the clearest path to your goals. You should never compromise on the principles you use to achieve the values and goals you set to make you, the best you, you want to be. To cheat your workout, training, and dieting goals is to choose to act irrational and that choice is a contradiction to selfishly achieving your personal ideals. To choose to compromise your values is to choose to sacrifice the goals you set for yourself.

“When you are in love, it means that the person you love is of great personal, selfish importance to you and to your life. If you were selfless, it would have to mean that you derive no personal pleasure or happiness from the company and the existence of the person you love, and that you are motivated only by self-sacrificial pity for that person’s need of you. I don’t have to point out to you that no one would be flattered by, nor would accept, a concept of that kind. Love is not self-sacrifice, but the most profound assertion of your own needs and values. It is for your own happiness that you need the person you love, and that is the greatest compliment, the greatest tribute you can pay to that person.”

Playboy Interview: Ayn Rand
Playboy, March 1964

The Real Enemy

We are our own worse enemies.

"I'm just going to ride the recliner for 24 hours." "Do you have a bed at your job???" "Mostly we just watch movies."
If that's you, then you aren't welcome here. You aren't welcome on my crew. You aren't welcome in my fire service.

The public doesn't want to pay lazy, minimum standard firefighters and they no longer will. If you are a mutt don't act surprised when budgets get cut, staffing gets reduced, and city administrators belittle our service. There are plenty of people ready to throw us under the bus and they don't need your help. STOP IT!

Get out of the recliner and train. Don't dare turn the stupid television on until you know without a hesitation that yourself, your equipment, and your rig is 100% ready to respond. Keep your station clean enough for the mayor to pop in any and every shift. Look for opportunities to serve our customers.

Excuses from this point forward are invalid. "That isn't my job" doesn't cut it any more. "My crew..." blah blah blah. What about you? Excellence is your responsibility and it's time you own it! Leadership can come from any position.

And for the love of all that is good in this world STOP BITCHING about actually doing the job. Been up all night? Boo hoo. One truck in Atlanta averages almost 6,000 calls per year. Don't like going out on lift assists? Guess what butt-head that senior citizen has paid more taxes in their lifetime than any other customer and has allowed you to be in this career to start with. Now when they need a little extra help just smile and do it. If it were your grandmother lying there what would you want?

I can't play along any more when someone says "you guys actually did something?" "Yes we did and we are thankful for every opportunity we have to serve."

Praise your brothers in public. Handle problems in private. Get on board or get out of the way. It's us against the world. We often serve the ungrateful. We are asked to do more with less. We have to battle day in and day out with brainless, spineless bureaucrats just to do our job. Our allies have all but failed but hope is not lost.

The fire that burns within The Relentless Few is about to ignite the world. We cannot be stopped. We will not be deterred. Our vision is clear and our path is straight. We cannot help what happened in the past but as for today?

TODAY WE STAND.

Iron Sharpens Iron

I want to answer 15 calls a shift.

I want to see the sunrise after a 2nd alarm.

I want to spend my career at our busiest stations.

I will better myself mentally and physically for my calling every single day.
I will treat every citizen and fellow firefighter with respect whether or not they deserve it.
I will not be deterred, defeated, or dissuaded. 

Tell me I'm going to burn out. I'm sure thousands of great firemen before me heard the same thing. But if it makes you feel better somehow, go ahead and say it. I feed off your negative energy. It burns within me. I will do the right thing with the right attitude and hearing the words of the disgruntled is like throwing jet fuel onto a bonfire. Lions never lose sleep over the opinion of the sheep.

In that same vein you will never better yourself by pulling others down. Iron sharpens iron. 

Attitude is a decision. Choose every day to be hungry. Choose every day not to settle. Choose every day to do a little more. For better or worse attitude is contagious. Over time others will begin to act like you. If you are miserable it may very well be that you don't like being around yourself. Choose to be a thermostat instead of a thermometer. It's easier than you think. Be unmovable. Be consistent. Be true. Be a student of the craft.

The chorus of voices from the Relentless has drowned out the cry of those who have been unable to see beyond the boundary of their comfort zone. Rise up and own yourself; at the end of the day no one else is responsible for you but you.

Now let's go to work.

Signed,

The Relentless Few

Hello, my name is Blake Powers and I love to go to fires!

Hello, my name is Blake Powers and I love to go to fires!

This day and time in the fire service you run into a lot of people who are negative, disgruntled, and generally just don't care about the calling. These negative attitudes don't affect me and will not ever bring me down. But, in my career to this date I have seen several awesome people sink in to the funk of the bad crew they are placed with. The Relentless Group on FB is taking over though!

Remember back to when you first decided you wanted to become a fireman, what were your motives? As a child did you see a firetruck screaming down the road and love it, becoming one of the few children that actually follow your original dreams? Did you study about the fire service and sit thinking that you could make a difference in the world? Did you think, man they have great benefits and the pay is not too bad for someone without a diploma? Did you need a job really bad and lucked up and got hired? Despite what your reasons were, your here now. There are tons of people across the world that would do absolutely anything to be able to come to work every 3rd day and ride on that truck. We all are very fortunate to say the least.

Remember when you successfully completed recruit school? Don't know about you, but it was one of the best days of my life. For us, it is the toughest mentally and physically 12 weeks we will ever go through. You get out of the academy and can't wait to get on the truck. I don't care who you are, after completing that course your hyped up, motivated as hell and ready to take on the world.

Remember your first day on shift? Your first morning, you walk in and nothing can wipe that grin off your face. Your anxious to make runs, as many as you can fit into a 24 hour shift. Your ready to roll up first due with heavy smoke showing, bust through the door and make the push. But it hardly ever happens that way. In reality, you start to realize how relaxed the environment is even on your first day. Shift after shift you come in and are less motivated than the one before. Eventually becoming part of the crew that doesn't want to do shit. Waking up when your working off shift and bitching to the oncoming crew about making 3 runs through the night hours. Most of us are guilty, including myself. But I battled through it and now I have come to terms that I will not get a full nights sleep, BECAUSE ITS MY JOB ITS WHAT I SIGNED UP FOR.

Remember when you came in last shift and didn't check off your truck, SCBA, radio, and all your other equipment? Yea the things that are your lifelines. Your failing yourself before the tones ever drop. Maybe you've talked to both other shifts and they didn't use anything. So what? Pressure changes in SCBA bottles daily, batteries fail daily, our equipment is not bulletproof. Simply put, shit breaks. It wears out and I'd rather you figure out it's broken at shift change and not when there are flames 10 ft from you. Bruce Stephens said it right a while back, leave the equipment better than when you found it.

Remember when you came in last shift and didn't train a bit? All of the trades that this job requires of us are easily forgotten little by little as time progresses. We must constantly pull out our equipment and at the minimum look it over. YouTube is a great teacher, there are thousands of videos pertaining to our exact equipment. You sit there in your recliner on your computer for hours, why not do some individual training.

I want everyone to value the job we have for what it is. Appreciate how blessed we all are to call ourselves fireman. Train everyday, be in good physical condition. Show up your next shift with the enthusiasm that you had on your first day. Take that mindset and make it positive for the whole crew. Before you sit down in that recliner make damn sure your battle ready! The fire service is great as a whole but it can be so much better. It's up to us to make it happen. We are the future, we are the relentless few and were taking over the fire service and there's nothing you can do about it!!

"Train as if your life depends on it, because it does"