The Calling

"The problem, often not discovered until late in life, is that when you look for things in life like love, meaning, motivation, it implies they are sitting behind a tree or under a rock. The most successful people in life recognize, that in life they create their own love, they manufacture their own meaning, they generate their own motivation."- Neil deGrasse Tyson.

Yesterday in a city about an hour from me, a 62 year old battalion chief with 40 years on the job donned his SCBA and endured a grueling PT session. I love the contrast to the RIP (retired in place) guys who drone on about being burned out. I wonder how the mind of the 2-20 guys perceive chief's actions as they sit in their recliners content with the minimum introductory training they received in the academy. If there is a greater teacher than failure I have not found him. I imagine chief has seen his share of fires that didn't go well, nights that some of his men almost didn't go home, and probably even thought a few times he might not be there to tuck his children in bed the next night. From discomfort he became fiercely vigilant while others went back to sleep.

It's shocking how we perceive things so differently. How is it that some see failure as a chance to embrace those things they didn't know and develop themselves while others just assume things will always work out despite evidence pointing to the contrary? Complacency continues to kill us but "it will never happen here". Yet it does a hundred times over every single year. Departments all over our country who have never had a LODD or serious injury find themselves at a funeral. On the front row, facing a flag draped coffin with honor guard members standing watch on each side, sits a young mother with her children. A chief dressed sharply in a Class A uniform might say something like fighting fire is "ultra-hazardous and unavoidably dangerous". It is, sometimes. Those children hear that "it was a freak accident that couldn't be prevented" even though the failures were glaring. Inadequate training. Lack of proper I.C. Incomplete 360 size up. Crew integrity is broken. No fitness program. Known deficiencies weren't addressed but to soothe and satiate we choose to embrace a lie. I don't have the ability to look into the eyes of fatherless children and say things that are only meant to make myself feel better. 

I wish I had a silver bullet cure for complacency. Sometimes I'm convinced it's just who people are. You either were meant for this job or you are here for the t-shirt and retirement. You either lead or you are dead weight. Other times I think that the fire department has failed itself for generations. Many places are fighting a culture that has set it's members up for failure rather than success. We closely guard information out of fear it might allow someone else to better themselves and surpass us. Instead of sharing knowledge and allowing the whole organization to grow we roadblock everyone and celebrate as we see people lay down their swords in defeat. 

We must do better on both counts. Recruiting the best applicants then providing them with a clear long term plan of success is the only way we win. Yes culture changes slowly but some change can't be waited on. I've lost close friends, been labeled a troublemaker, and been told the things I'm doing are "making people feel bad". My current feelings are: they weren't really my friends, I live for that sort of trouble, and the only thing that is making anyone feel bad is a look into their mirror. The stakes of this game are too high to be concerned with the opinions of sheep. Sometimes circumstances are truly beyond our control and everyone doesn't go home. God forbid that happens but I'll be damned if I sit idly by and not change the things within my reach.

A few years ago as a brand new company officer I was moved to our cities only ladder company. Our chief (now retired) had plans to begin operating as a truck company instead of a quint. For the time being though we also had an engine in house that we were supposed to take if the ladder wasn't needed. Confusing? You bet. SOP's? None. Directives? "You'll figure it out." I had lots of questions that went unanswered. I asked what success looked like for us in one month, 6 months, in one year? Are we responsible for RIT, vertical vent, forcible entry, search and rescue, or just fall into our normal arrival assignment like before? *Crickets*. I asked which truck we were supposed to take to get lunch? "You'll figure it out." Well, I didn't. I'm not being critical for the sake of bitching. I'm thankful my time there was short and I was able to move shifts onto an engine. I'm also thankful nobody needed rescuing by ladder when we were out getting a sandwich on the engine.

"Pride" has been hijacked and it's meaning soiled. I want a crew of proud men who take their job and themselves seriously. There is no shame in doing good work and feeling good about it. This isn't the little leagues where everyone gets a trophy for warming a spot on the bench. I have no qualms about saying this: I want to be the very best. The best husband, the best friend, the best firefighter, the best company officer. I want to develop myself along with others. I want to exceed my current potential then do it again. I want to be a force multiplier to everyone who is my ally and for us to take the message of The Relentless Few to the ends of the earth. This doesn't come without valuing truth and the pursuit of perfection above all else. I confess that I have often failed at all of the above but I will be dead before I let my story end with defeat.

Start here: Question everything you do. Why you are doing it that way? Is it really the best way to accomplish the task? Examine the ideas behind your best practices. Don't be afraid to discard anything that isn't efficient or effective. Eliminate excuses. "When we have some people retire, then we can make real changes." "We've just always done it that way." "You can't change things overnight." "Don't rock the boat." "You just don't understand how far we've already come." "We trained on that in recruit school. Why can't we learn something new?" "You are making the old guys feel bad." BULL CRAP!!!

Wyatt Earp screamed "NO!!!" as he left the safety of cover and waded into the river in Tombstone. Standing up for what's right is dangerous and sometimes it even paints a target on us. More and more I seek to surround myself by those not deterred by hard work, hard questions, and harder solutions. Give me a few men with those traits and we will deliver.

Stand up.

Speak out.

Be counted.

Answer your calling.

Be relentless and bring Hell with you.